Tonight... I pray

Tonight I pray for the strenth I need in the coming days and weeks, I pray for the ability to accept the things and I cannot change and to change the things I can. I pray to stop crying and for the fear to subside. I pray I am doing the right thing and things as each day progresses. God my heart is opening and I am listening with all my being.

See, I know God has something in store for me SO big and SO overwhelming that I am overwhelmed now with emotions so that I can be ready and willing to accept his challenge and become the person I want to be. So that I can be the person I need to be as I follow the path he has laid out for me.

I feel like I have lost family, friends, and so much more lately. I feel like I am failing my son by giving up. I feel like I gave up and I know what I am doing is right; I just need to know why. In this case God is the only reason I know why. I never saw myself in my current position; I never expected what has come out of my life.

The important things are that Alex has a mommy and daddy who love him so the point of no return. He is a happy, loving child who will continue to grow and amaze us daily. God is in him, pushing him forward daily and showing us the innocense of childhood again.

Tomorrow I go and sign a lease for my new place. I am excite, scared, overwhelmend and so much more. I have been crying out of pure fear and some heartbreak.

Right now I am asking for your prayers. Please pray to help me get through this. Please pray for the situation. I know I am ok, I know I will be ok and I know its ok to be scared; I just don't want to be anymore.